Every once in a while something comes along in life that you immediately know will change your life forever. That happened to me yesterday.
I received a letter from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary accepting me into their PhD program.
In ways I don’t fully yet know, my life will never bet the same.
A SURPRISING JOURNEY
From elementary school through high school my parents would normally ask upon my return home from each day of school, “How was school today?” My answer was almost invariably, “Boring.” I rarely felt challenged in class and, anyways, my mind was always completely occupied with my real passion: soccer. I looked forward to the days when soccer would replace school as the primary occupier of each day.
When I signed a contract with Major League Soccer at the age of 17 there was some terror among my extended family. The general thought was, “Jordan will never go to college!” Education has always been paramount, particularly on my dad’s side. From the moment I started playing with the Dallas Burn (what is now F.C. Dallas) one of my dad’s brothers started the full-court press of getting me to retire the soccer dream and venture into the halls of his beloved alma mater, Baylor University. He even said he’d pay for the tuition!
I was grateful, but uninterested.
ONE AND DONE
Little did I know how persistent he would be. For three years we discussed these matters and at the end of the 2004 season I announced my retirement from professional soccer. I was twenty years old. Six months later I was a Student Ministry Associate at FBC Prosper who was rapidly trying to finish a bachelor’s degree via extension studies at Texas Tech University. It was at good ‘ol FBCP that the question of seminary first popped up. And then it kept popping up. The general tenor among the Baptist church powers was, “Jordan, if you want to be a pastor you must go to seminary!”
Well, I’ve always had a struggle with pride. And in my early twenties pride was a dragon-like behemoth. The surest way to get me not to do something was tell me I had to do something. I always wanted to pave my own way. The plan was to finish my undergrad degree and be done with schooling. “One and done,” was my thought.
God had another plan.
EVERYTHING CHANGES
In 2008 I joined the staff of Providence Church as an Associate Pastor. I was a bright-eyed twenty-four year old pastor set on changing the ministerial world. Looking back on it now I can see just how silly that notion was, but how God used it to do something in my unexpected.
In May of 2009 two Presbyterian brothers reached out and invited me to lunch. David Rea and Carlton Wynne were old friends and current ministers at Providence Presbyterian Church in Dallas. “D-Rea” had been the college pastor at Park Cities Presbyterian Church, and Carlton his intern, when I attended PCPC for a few years in my soccer playing days. When they heard I was an associate pastor at an Acts 29 church they wanted to see how my ministry was going and what on earth this church planting network was all about. Some of you might remember how those were the boisterous days of A29.
Not long after that meeting I reached out to good Rev. Wynne and asked him if he would disciple me in ministry. I was rapidly realizing how ill-prepared I was for various aspects of pastoral ministry and wanted to grow. Carlton was, and remains, the smartest and humblest pastor I know (he’s currently finishing his PhD dissertation in Systematic Theology at Westminster Theological Seminary). In short, I wanted to be like him. I still hope to be like him.
Carlton graciously agreed to regularly meet with me and our bi-weekly lunches remain one of the fondest memories of my young ministry. He was a graduate of RTS-Charlotte and so, not surprisingly, our conversation often came around to that age-old question of seminary. Overtime he convinced me to go. Five years after –almost to the day! – of saying I wouldn’t go to seminary I submitted an application to RTS.
A REKINDLED LOVE
The next three years were full of ministry, church planting, and seminary. Throughout my time at RTS I rediscovered the joy of learning. I think it was because, unlike much of my previous schooling, the subjects I studied in seminary were so thoroughly interesting and practical. Reading and writing were like old friends I used to spend time with, but life had taken us down separate paths. Now we were reunited. And what fun it was.
When I finished the M.A.R. at RTS I thought, “What about a PhD?”
WHERE TO STUDY
I thus began to research possible schools to which I could apply and I settled on one institution: SBTS. It had everything I was looking for: rigorous scholarship, expert faculty, options for modular study, and a rich tradition in the SBC – our church’s denomination.
After some dialogue with the admissions people I realized I needed to take some classes to get my M.A.R. up to M.Div. equivalency. So over the course of last fall and this spring I slammed out 18 hours worth of seminary classes. In God’s kind providence He used those two semesters to change my direction in which department I would potentially do doctoral research.
WHAT TO STUDY
My original plan was to apply for a PhD in Christian Preaching, but the more I studied at SBTS and got to know the various options and professors I decided to switch my application to the Biblical Spirituality department.
I’m increasingly convinced, along with old saints like M’Cheyne and Bonar, that it is not great talents God blesses as much as great likeness to Christ. I long to be a pastor that sets an example for his people in speech, life, love, faith, and purity, and in so doing save myself and my hearers (1 Tim. 4:12, 16). Additionally, I hope to be a man who trains and exhorts potential pastors in what a spiritual ministry through ordinary means can look like. Further and specific study on these matters can only serve in these areas. Plus, growing in my understanding of the history and theology of piety is right up my alley of interest.
DREADFUL DELIGHT
Earlier this summer I sent in my application and at the beginning of August I received an invitation to come to SBTS to take the entrance exam and go through a faculty interview. And so it was five weeks ago today that I flew out to Louisville with dreadful delight. I guess the exam and interview went well enough, but now that I’ve been officially admitted into the program I once again have that sense of dreadful delight.
The dread part of that paradox is wrapped up in the commitment of intellect, time, and cash money we are adding to an already full plate: pastoring a young church with a fourth son on the way in January (our four boys will be four years old and under when Knox, Lord willing, appears). But we are simultaneously delighted in God’s opening of this door for doctoral study.
We know life will never be the same. And that is always dreadfully delightful.