I begin each year with something I call “Endeavors”; just think of them as spiritual goals for the year. To this point in my life I’ve rarely changed the Endeavors that kicked off each year. It’s probably because I feel duty bound, come hell or high water, to complete the individual Endeavor—and I recognize how silly such enslaved devotion is. Well, 2015 may be the year I broke free of dutiful silliness.
My 2015 Endeavors were essentially three:
- Memorize the books of 1 John and 2 Timothy.
- Read all four volumes of Bavinck’s Reformed Dogmatics.
- Integrate regular fasting into my life and ministry.
I’ve adjusted #1, scrapped #2, and kept #3 in tact. Here’s an update on what’s been happening with each one.
Adjusted 2015 Endeavors
#1 – I endeavor to memorize the books of 1 John Philippians and 2 Timothy. In January we began a sermon series through 1 John at IDC and I planned to simply memorize the book along the way. I kept at it through chapter two and then I just lost steam. Maybe John’s repetitive nature led me to feel I was memorizing the same truth in just a different place or maybe it’s my love for more linear epistolary argument. Whatever it is, I shut down 1 John in late February and made a pivot to Philippians. We are slated to begin a sermon series through Paul’s letter of joy in the fall and memorizing the book now I trust will bring power to my future sermon prep. I hope to have Philippians complete by the end of August and then use the last few months of the year to write 2 Timothy upon my heart.
#2 – I endeavor to read Herman Bavinck’s four-volume Reformed Dogmatics. I made it through volume one of RD and then the syllabuses for PhD seminars arrived—syllabuses telling me I had 37 books to read by mid-May. For a while I kept plugging away at RD, but eventually I found myself obligatorily rushing through each day’s reading of the Dutchman in order to get to the PhD books. And let’s be honest, Bavinck deserves better than forced friendship. So Bavinck’s magnum opus took its venerable place back on the shelf in my study. Maybe I’ll get to him in 2019.
#3 – I endeavor to integrate regular fasting into my life and ministry. An old mentor of mine once said, “Fasting is overrated.” Fasting has been an afterthought in my spiritual life ever since. Yet, a great cloud of fasting witness cried out to me in 2014. I seemed to read many old saints expressing a delight in and devotion to fasting that was utterly compelling. Also helped along the way by Piper’s A Hunger for God, I began to rethink my old conviction and set out to walk more faithfully in the discipline of fasting this year.
Currently, I fast from breakfast and lunch every Saturday. As I discerned how best to go about consistent fasting I felt forgoing first two meals each Saturday might be unusually challenging to my soul. You see, our church meets at 5pm on Saturdays. Therefore, I routinely preach on an empty stomach. But oh my, how full my heart is! Fasting on Saturdays has led to more urgent pleas for God to glorify Himself in our church, and I hope, a growing humility in my preaching. Preaching hungry means preaching in weakness; it means preaching in His strength. I’ve realized these last few months how prone I am to trust in my own power instead of God’s power. The weakness which attends fasting calls me to trust ever more on the Spirit for success at the sacred desk. It’s a lesson I should have learned by now, but I evidently haven’t. And so the weakness of fasting is a feeling I love more and more with each passing week. It’s helping me taste the glory of Christ in new ways.