A pastor’s prayer life is often one of praying the same things over and over. And this is just fine. It’s nothing less than faithfully ministering in light of Jesus’ parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18. It promotes dogged persistence. I’m sure every pastor would offer an, “Aye,” to the motion for more persistence in our pastoral labor.

I personally am helped, when it comes to my prayer life, to have a list of items for which I’m always prayer. I pray for holiness, love, and wisdom (1 Tim. 3:1-7). I pray my preaching would be clear and bold, for this it must be (Eph. 6:20; Col. 4:4). I pray I would be ceaseless in prayer (1 Thess. 5:17). I pray for spiritual strength to minister the whole counsel of God from house to house (Acts 20:27). And I pray for the Spirit to enable me to do the work of an evangelist (2 Tim. 4:5).

The list, as you might expect, is one that keeps bulging. I recently added two items and thought they might be ones you might also consider for your life and ministry.

Praying for a Thick Skin

I still remember the email I got from a guest about my preaching. Actually, it would be better to say I remember the email I received that included an attached document about a sermon I’d just preached. The letter started well enough, expressing surprisingly kind words about the message. Yet, soon enough it devolved into a personal rant on how I’d mucked it all up on one key point, so much so that my orthodoxy was in doubt.

While this is an admittedly extreme example, faithful pastors are well acquainted with criticism. We are by nature “feather rufflers.” If we believe God’s word is absolutely true and preach as though eternity hangs in the balance, inevitably there will be disagreement over something we believe is certain. Some will disagree with songs we choose to sing or not to sing. Some will lob arrows of dissension when our church doesn’t equal their personal vision of the perfect church. Others will sarcastically barb a vision for church life we’d well near die for.

The prayer here is for thick skin in the face of such assault. The practical import of it is that whenever silly criticism comes our soul would say say, “No worries. Moving along.” This doesn’t mean the pastor shouldn’t learn from his those who critique him. Banish forever such nonsense. Kernels of truth are found in even the most thick-headed of assessments. Thick skin means not letting such assessments unduly distract or lead to despair.

Thick skin prevents thick heads from winning trite battles. A thick skin guards the heart. And we all know how important such guard work is (see Prov. 4:23).

Praying for a Tender Heart

Lest we become Bible bastions incapable of more than one feeling—thickness—we must pray for another thing: tenderness. Tenderness means we feel, deeply. The Fiery Apostle calls us to all have “a tender heart” (1 Pet. 3:8) and pastors must embody this, for they are examples to the flock (1 Pet. 5:3).

Tenderness, of course, is a broad word and so we must apply it broadly. By pleading with God for a tender heart we’re effectually asking for things like:

• Tenderness toward the love of Christ
• Tenderness toward the penalty of sin and the plight of sinners, a tenderness that compels evangelism
• Tenderness toward our church members as we desire to see them grow in holiness
• Tenderness toward the creeping power of worldliness
• Tenderness toward the majesty of God’s glory revealed in creation
• Tenderness toward the Spirit’s leading
• Tenderness toward the church Jesus bought with his blood
• Tenderness toward our wife as we wash her with the water of the Word
• Tenderness toward our children as we discipline and instruct
• Tenderness toward God’s word as we submit ourselves to its truth
• Tenderness toward the poor, orphan, and widow who cry out for justice

You catch my drift.

In Praise of Thickly Tender Pastors

A thick-skinned, tender-hearted pastor sounds oxymoronic. But, brothers, this should not be so. The model is always Jesus Christ. His is the firstborn of thick tenderness. So let us imitate our Lord.

Having a thick skin means knowing when not to feel, while having a tender heart means knowing when to feel. So often in ministry we don’t feel when we should and we do feel when we shouldn’t. If ever there was a matter to take to the Lord in prayer, this is it. Let us be like the widow in Luke 18 and not give up until God grants us a thick skin and tender heart.

“Until God grants . . .” It thus seems to me these two items will reside on my prayer list until I see Christ in glory.