I have written before (here, here, and here) about the great weight I often feel after preaching. That descent from the sacred desk is a walk normally filled with steps of despair and discouragement.
I am always helped to know I am not alone in the struggle. Such encouragement came earlier this week from On Being a Pastorby Derek Prime and Alistair Begg. Their chapter on preaching ends with a section on “The Perils of Preaching,” which mentions the peril of “despair and sense of failure.”
The following back and forth between Prime and Begg was valuable for me to hear, as I bet it would be for any preacher.
Derek Prime: “I doubt if there has been a Sunday I have preached when I have not had some [despair or sense of failure]. On occasions I have known deep despair because I have felt I have been so clumsy in my presentation of the truth. At such times we need to remind ourselves of God’s call. I have come to recognize that God allows such things to happen so that I cultivate the humility that befits a teacher of His word and to teach me my constant dependence on Him. One of the most humbling experiences I know is to discover afterward that on the occasions when I felt I did badly, God has been pleased to work in a special way in people’s lives!”
Alistair Begg: “I am encouraged to know that Derek feels this way. I had hoped that this sense would pass with time. But it hasn’t. As I stood to preach this past Sunday, I felt as though I was standing in a telephone box, and, although I could see the people outside and could hear my own voice (usually a bad sign), I had no assurance that they could hear me. Eric Alexander told a gathering of ministers that when he left the pulpit and returned to his vestry, he found himself saying out loud, ‘Lord, I am sorry.’ Lloyd-Jones was as outspoken on this matter as any I have read. ‘Any man who has had some glimpse of what it is to preach will inevitably feel that he has never preached. But he will go on trying, hoping that by the grace of God one day he may truly preach.'”
So preacher, if you often sense despair take comfort from these brothers, and by God’s grace, go on preaching!